Killing me privately

by Sandra on September 23, 2014

She grew up in a home where abuse was the way that love was expressed. Every day she thought: This is the day we might be rescued from this nightmare. How could a God who is all-knowing and all-powerful allow these horrible things to happen to us?

The cycle of abuse is powerful. If not broken, this cycle can affect a generation of people—or more. At the age of twenty-five she got married, and at twenty-six she had her first child. Between the time she left home and the time she got married, she wandered from place to place. So, when this man who was ten years her senior took an interest in her, she was happy. For her, it meant security. Finally she had a place where she could feel secure. Sadly, that sense of security came at a great price to her and her son. This man was privately killing her spirit and torturing her soul.

Throughout her marriage, her husband was physically and verbally abusive toward her and their child. She had plans for her life, their life, but he was not supportive. At every turn he sabotaged her efforts to better herself and their family. He destroyed her dreams and her soul…little by little.   One day after having a loaded gun pointed at her temple, she decided it was time for her and her child to leave. She made the decision to leave right then and there. She did not feel strong enough to stand on her own two feet. She started wondering…. How can I raise this child by myself? What will my family think? If only I could have been a better person/wife, none of this would have happened. Slowly her soul was withering away. She thought it would be different with this man. It wasn’t. She had only found herself in yet another abusive relationship. The experiences she had as a child shaped who she thought she was and how she thought the world saw her.

Does this woman’s experience mirror your own? Imagine living your life as a prisoner in your own home. Sadly, many women live in situations like this. Did you know that a woman is abused by her significant other every fifteen seconds? Being in any type of abusive relationship can feel a lot like being trapped in a prison without bars. Many incarcerated individuals feel isolated, dehumanized, intimidated, and emotionally abused. They are a cut off from family and friends. They ache within the pit of their souls because they worry and feel they cannot nurture or protect their children.

Domestic violence has reached epidemic proportions. The cycle of abuse needs to be broken. It’s in the news every day and now the NFL has been forced to deal with it. We must stop covering it up and pretending it is going to go away. The souls of our women and children are being killed privately. So, what can or should we do? Start with self. Are you the survivor, friend, family member, etc? Go within and ask yourself: what is my role? Where do I fit? We all have a role to play and work to do. Now is the time! It starts with you and me!

I am my Sister!


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